Sympathy for the Dollar Store Employee

I really wanted to post about this yesterday, but I really wanted to be lazy, too.  Being lazy won out.  Actually, yesterday morning, I really wanted to post about something else entirely, but this was just too awesome not to share.  What I want in my funeral will have to wait for another day.

Yesterday was my mother-in-law's memorial service.  We've had an unusual (but pleasant) bout of sunshine, which makes the snow blinding.  George forgot his sunglasses and spent the whole drive to the funeral home bitching about it. 

"Why don't we stop at Target and buy some?"

"Are you kidding me?  We don't have time for you to run around Target."

"Okay, stop somewhere else..."

"It's fine."  Except if it was fine, he wouldn't have complained about again, less than a minute later.

"Do you want to wear mine?"  No answer, but a look like I'd just told him to go put on a dress.  "Okay, they're just sunglasses and you're in the car.  You don't have to use them, though..."  After that, I dropped it, but he kept grumbling to himself.  I have an unfortunate tendency to laugh when it's entirely inappropriate, so I kept my face toward the window.  Meanwhile, Pie's in the backseat, singing songs she probably shouldn't know the lyrics to.

Finally, when we were about five minutes away, he pulls in to the most ghetto looking dollar store I've ever seen.  He lets out this painful sigh like I've defeated him in some sort of contest, pulls out a $10 and says, "Just run in.  Be quick about it."

I love dollar stores.  If everything is only a dollar, it's not like you're really spending money.  George doesn't get that logic, either, but it makes perfect sense to me.  In any case, this wasn't a real dollar store and to be honest, I'm still not sure what to make of it. 

I finally found the sunglasses next to the frozen foods.  There was only one style of men's glasses, so choosing a pair was easy.  I also found a pair I liked for myself, so I grabbed those, too.  I headed to the register to pay.  I have dreadful luck when it comes to that sort of thing, so of course, I got stuck behind someone with a return.  Not just any return, though.  This return was the best part of my day!

The woman in front of me was trying to return a used hair relaxer because it had burnt her hair off at the scalp.  Only she wasn't just trying to return it, she was making a full on scene!  The poor teenage boy behind the counter shifted uncomfortably at the litany of expletives and threats coming from the hairless and enraged woman.  I instinctively stepped back a bit, as the argument continued.  At this point, I didn't know what to do.  I was supposed to hurry, but George needed his sunglasses.  Should I wait it out?  I mean, it looked like it might get physical.

Then the woman turned to me.  "You believe this bullshit?  That cocksucker won't give me my money back?  You believe that?"

I was completely nonplussed.  "Um...  S-sorry?"

She threw the box at the Coke display up front and stormed out, attempting to slam the glass door as she went.  The cashier, Jason, by his name tag, and I just stared for a minute.  I felt the giggles creep up.

"Okay, so how are you today?"

I absolutely lost it.  I laughed so hard I doubled over, unable to breathe, tears running down my cheeks.  "I am so sorry," I choked out when I could speak again.  "That was the most absurd thing I've ever seen."  I shoved the money at him before the hysterics took back over.  By this point, he was also laughing pretty hard, so I don't think he wrote me off as too loopy.  We chatted for a minute, exchanging sympathies, but I really was in a hurry and had to go.

I made it to the car, expecting George to be pissy with me for taking so long.  Instead, he pointed across the parking lot, and asked, "What is that about?"  And there she was!  The patchy headed woman, screaming obscenities to anyone who pulled in.  Oh, my. 

I spent the last uneventful five minutes of the drive fixing my destroyed eye makeup.

 These are my new sunglasses! I'm glad I got them instead of a hair relaxer!