Me, Lead Poisoning, and People of Walmart!

I'm pretty sure I have lead poisoning.  For the entire seven years that we've lived in this house, I've been nagging George to help me do something about the ugly turquoise and mauve wall paper in our living room.  He chose today to tackle it.  Well, not the wall paper, that's a bit down the road, but the start of the project.

My house was built in 1894.  I'm positive that in 1894, my house was absolutely stunning.  The hand carved woodwork around the fireplace and floor to ceiling windows is incredible, or at least it would be if years of slumlorded negligence didn't include coat after coat after coat of cheap paint.  Since we're not slumlords (at least, I think the person in my attic likes us) and we're planning to live here for at least the next ten years, George decided before we strip the wall paper and paint, we should sand the wood to its original condition.  What a horrible fucking idea! 

We went to Lowes early--like 10 AM early, the time I'm usually just getting up for the day.  We went into things excitedly.  Bought five gallons of Venetian Red paint.  A couple sanders.  A bunch of crap we probably won't need.  Went home and started sanding.  It's 10:39 PM and he's still sanding.  We haven't even finished one window.  Plus, given the age of the house, I'm positive that at least the lowest layers are loaded with lead.  Neat!  I got the stink eye for backing out so I could write here.  I'm also pretty sure I'll make an appearance on people of Walmart this week.

For all the crap we probably won't need, we sure forgot a lot that we do.  That resulted in me making three separate trips to Walmart.  By the third one, I was desperate not to go back to the never ending sanding, that I decided to slowly roam the store for a bit.  Then, hey, what do you know, electronics is showing a movie I like!  Outstanding!  So, I watched it.  I don't mean I watched it for ten minutes or so, I mean, I watched the last half of the movie.  With a snack and beverage.  Yeah, I'm classy.  I don't care, though; if an appearance on People of Walmart buys me an hour away from the awful sound of the sander, my husband's barking orders, and my child's never ending shriek, it's a small price to pay.

So, that was pretty much my Valentine's Day.  Lead poisoning, a headache, and a special spot as the county's trashiest person of the day.   It's okay, though.  Valentine's Day was never really a big deal to me until Pie came along.  I wasn't one of those people who hates Valentine's Day or anything, it just wasn't something we usually remembered.  The only reason I (somewhat) remember now is because Valentine's Day was the day I found out I was knocked up.

My mom is 47 shades of horrified that I call it that, but I didn't want kids, so I think it's a pretty fitting term.  I didn't dislike kids, I just didn't think I liked them enough to have one.  George didn't care, so no kids it was.  Until I got knocked up.  I was shaking on the sofa, while he was practically vomiting little balls of elation all over the living room. 

It all turned out much better than I thought.  Pregnancy was undoubtedly the worst experience of my life--sort of like having a tapeworm, but without any of the weight loss.  Birth sucked, but not nearly as bad as I'd imagined it would.  Actually being a mom has been absolutely amazing.  I knew I would love whatever child I had, but I hadn't counted on getting one I'd like so much.  She really is a fun little girl.

In a better world, I'd be posting that I'm knocked up again, but unfortunately, my broken reproductive system changed its mind.  I wasn't going to post about it, but since I've decided not to burden my husband with that little detail, I may as well tell some small corner of the internet.  I didn't even know I wanted other kids.  I thought we were cool as an only child family, and we probably are, it's just that today sort of sucks. 

But then, I think about Pie.  I couldn't be lucky enough to get two kids I like as much as I like her.  And the house.  First we didn't have the money to do all the work we want to, then we didn't have the time.  Pie's getting old enough to amuse herself, at least long enough for us to do some home improvement.  She's weaned and potty trained and feeds herself.  And who needs three birthdays in September?  Two already sucks for the budget.  Not to mention, this is the girl who spent an hour watching a movie in the electronics department at Walmart to get a break.  Yeah, today sort of sucks, but I'm good for finding the bright spot, even if it is totally inappropriate and wrong and will probably result in unwanted pictures of me on the internet.  Or maybe this is just all of the lead paint dust talking.  Whatever the case, I have a pretty good life exactly as it is.